Resources and References

As part of our commitment to education, we offer a selective list of books, movies, and other resources that we have found to be of value as we created and maintained our own structured relationships.

You may notice that these are not the usual title listed on other sites dedicated to the creation of alternative lifestyle relationships. It did not seem that we would be adding to the overall educational awareness by duplicating such efforts. These resources are frequently "vanilla" in origin and are indicative of the wealth of resources available to us if we only slightly broaden the scope of our inquiries.

The mini-reviews of these resources has been provided by Instructors and Staff who have actually read or viewed the items.


"Vanilla" Books about Leadership:

Developing the Leader Within You by John C. Maxwell
A terrific overview and discussion of the qualities of leadership, including examinations of Power, Authority and Leadership; the exercise of each; and how they interrelate.

The Servant: A Simple Story about the True Essence of Leadership by James C. Hunter
This book has it all - straightforward discussions of what Leadership and Authority mean and how to best develop and use them - set within a larger context of spirituality and personal fulfillment.

The World's Most Powerful Leadership Principle: How to Become a Servant Leader by James C. Hunter
This follow up book to "The Servant" further explains and clarifies the concept of being a Servant Leader.

Obedience to Authority by Stanley Milgram
This is a classic psychological study that examines a lot of the factors that create environments in which people will follow those in Authority. It is a rather dry book, and the preface, initial parameters of the experiments and conclusions are probably of most use to those of us in the lifestyle.

The Rule of Saint Benedict - This is an interesting read in that it describes the structural foundation for Monastic societies in Medieval Europe. It may not seem related to our lifestyle, but it addresses many of the issues we need to address - how to build a successful community (Household); how to lead with humility; how to recruit and integrate new members; how to maintain harmony; how to maintain order; how to create and maintain a consistent scheduled existence; how to be productive; how to apply discipline. And, while Sir Stephen does not arise at 3am for prayers, he does admire the spiritual basis for the community.

"Vanilla" Books about Service:

Rose: My Life In Service by Rosina Harrison.
Recollections of the life of the personal Lady's Maid to Lady Astor.

Gentlemen's Gentlemen by Rosina Harrison
Nostalgic notes from the days when everyone knew their place.

The House Servant's Directory by Robert Roberts
This book was written in 1827 by an African American man-servant it is a good book on basic service and a great read.

A Butler's Life: Scenes from The Other Side of the Silver Salver by Christopher Allen
A fun book but teaches proper protocol and many helpful hints.

The London Ritz Book Of Afternoon Tea by Helen Simpson
This book captures all the expertise of the Ritz's Tea Ceremony with recipes.

Butlers & Household Managers: 21st Century Professionals by Steven M. Ferry
A wonderful info book for the modern day servant. Lots of checklists that can be used.

The Complete Servant by Samuel & Sarah Adams
A fascinating source of history and a guide to the "Downstairs" way of life written in 1825. The authors were 50 years in service, starting as the lowest menials and ending as Housekeeper and Butler.

The Footman's Directory and Butler's Remembrancer by Onesimus
A wonderful "advice" book written by a footman for his friends who were entering into service, written in 1823.

"Vanilla" Books of Interest about Relationships

The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle
A very popular book from the vanilla world. There is some good food for thought here.

Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin
The teachings in this book were inspired by a series of booklets written in the 1920s entitled The Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood. The booklets, written to single women, have long been out of print. The authors are unknown. Many of the Surrendered Wife principles can be found here.

A Book of Courtesy: The Art of Living with Yourself and Others by Sister Mary Mercedes
Everyday courtesies that we may have forgotten. Daily courtesies, conversation, being a guest, courtesy to guests, conduct in public places, electronic courtesies and written stationary etiquette. One of slave catherine's favorites.

The Rituals of Dinner: by Margaret Visser
The origins, evolutions, eccentricities and meaning of table manners.

Martine's Hand-book of Etiquette, and Guide to True Politeness by Arthur Martine
Originally published in 1866. What a masterpiece this old book is.

Books About Spiritually Based Submission

Liberated through Submission by P. B. Wilson
God's design for freedom in all relationships.

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
Submission from a biblical perspective.

A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George
Learn how to foster a great commitment to serve and honor your partner.

The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
Every woman who desires a closer relationship with her husband will appreciate this refreshing look at the power of prayer in a relationship.

The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman
Although submission is not directly addressed in this book, it has recently become part of my spiritual path and I am recommending it.

Always We Begin Again by John McQuiston II
When an attorney with a busy commercial practice went searching for a truly balanced life, he found the blueprint for it in a sixth-century text.

Beautiful in the Eyes of God by Elizabeth George

Proverbs 31 - It showed to me what an "action slave" is all about. Practical skills for daily life.

Lifestyle Training and Etiquette Books

Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual by Christina Abernathy and,Training With Miss Abernathy (a workbook for erotic slaves and their Owners) by Christina Abernathy
These are two wonderful books. They give one many things to think on.

Screw the Roses Give Me the Thorns by Molly Devon & Phillip Miller
This is a very good book for anyone new to the lifestyle. It gives you a good foundation to work with.

The Bride Wore Black Leather...and He Looked Fabulous by Drew Campbell
An etiquette guide for the rest of us...very light hearted.

SlaveCraft: Principles, Skills and Tools by, "a grateful slave" (Guy Baldwin)
A unique book shedding new clarity upon the area of slavehood that many find misguided and murky. There is lots of food for thought here.

Basic Black: Home Training for Modern Times, by Karen Grigsby Bates & Karen Elyse Hudson.
Excellent book on everyday etiquette.

Books and Items of General Interest

Inside the Victorian Home by Judith Flanders
Although I have not yet finished this book it does give a fascinating insight into the workings of middle class homes in the Victorian Age rather than the "Grand Houses" typically depicted in period piece novels and film. It addresses issues of Household structure of interest to me, such as the concept of "the maid of all things" when there is only one servant in service to a Household.

52 Ways to Say Grace - Running Press A deck cards with spiritual quotations gathered from many cultures and many times. Take a pause before your next meal and introduce a moment of quiet contemplation before you begin to eat.

Military Manuals and Protocols for Officers - Sir Stephen acknowledges that he has not read these, but knows that they have been of use to many other Masters.

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert J. Rubel, PhD

Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an M/s Household (Paperback) by Machele Kindle (Author), Master Fire (Author) 4 Reviews 5 star: (2) 4 star: (0) 3 star: (1) 2 star: (0) 1 star: (1) See all 4 customer reviews... 3.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (4 customer reviews)


"Excellence is an art won by training and habituation.
We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence,
but we rather have those because we have acted rightly.
We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then is not an act but a habit."


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